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A Cowboy Needs a Horse

Have you ever heard of Big Week?

No, it is not the aerial bombing of the 1940s.

And no, it is not the Biggest Losers counterpart – Smallest Winner.

Where I am from, Big Week is Rodeo week. It is held every year toward the end of July and is supposedly the largest on the west coast.

Cowboy Needs a Horse

Now, I may have redneck tendencies, but I am no cowboy. Disney Sing-A-Long has contrived a list of requirements one has to ascertain to be designated a cowboy. A cowboy needs a horse, a hat, a pair of fancy boots, a set of shiny spurs, and a rope-o-o-o if he wants to be a cowboy. Let me calculate my haul of currently owned items…Carry the two, subtract the W, add pie, pumpkin preferably…Zero. That suggests my attire for such an event is exiguous in comparison to fellow attendees. I end up looking like a Hipster-Wannabe-Cowboy with a plaid shirt, skinny-FIT jeans (there is a difference), and some shoes. Meanwhile, I see men and women dressing to the nines in their western wardrobe. I’ve always wondered, wow, for a country guy (or girl) they sure look spiffy. I’ve wondered how they have kept their clothes so crisp and immaculate. I’ve come to the conclusion it is because they only wear the shit once a year. Now, my town has its fair share of rednecks, but we are more infamously known for our gang affairs. Local law enforcement is just not well versed in managing snapping Broadway gangsters. One would reckon that Jazz Hands 101 be a prerequisite to graduate the Police Academy. Regardless, fact of the matter is this town does not have that many country people. We do have a lot of pretenders. And none are The Great.

I know this to be a fact. I have friends who participate in these rodeo festivities. Friends who are only cowboys for 168 hours. While not the same amount of hours, I liken it to how long it felt when watching James Franco’s movie. It appears to be a lengthy carving of time, but put in perspective with the 8766 hours in a year, it’s rather brief. It does not prevent them from embodying their western clothes and jumping up on that “high horse.” Pun(s) intended. For one week they think they are some badass cowboy. Until I remind them, “You work at Carls Jr., you don’t listen to country music, and you’ve never even ridden a horse. The closest you’ve come to western is selling me a Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger. Now, which window do I pull up to? The second? Why do you have two windows, but only occupy one? I want to know what’s behind window number one.” Okay, I got carried away with that fabricated conversation, but the drift has been got.

HF

There are exceptions to this rule. Women. I do not care if you have never seen the stars above the city glow. If you want to slap on some daisy dukes, roll up your t-shirt, and rock some boots you go right ahead and do so. There are so many cheap jokes here, I’m talking five cent spittoon cigars worth, but I will take the high road, the one that leads off into the sunset. In a car.

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What Say You?

I created this blog to become famous.

I have been blogging for a year and a half.

I’m not famous…Yet.Not Famous

I’m like Zach Stone. Well, not entirely. I’m not famous, but I’m not canceled. Meaning I have not eighty-sixed my aspiration. I have instead taken to WordPress to ask for some advice.

Facebook

  • Should I create a Facebook page for my blog?

I have analyzed the layout of several different blogs. Some have chosen to adopt the sociality offered by a Blog Facebook page. Others have crossed the desert plain and pick up their viewers mano a mano. I’ve done a mixture of both. I post my blogs on my personal Facebook and I frequent other blogs to spread the Good Will-you come and check out my blog. That way, it is the, “I scratch your back, you give me a foot massage,” ordeal. So far I have come across very few foot massagers. I tell them to not mind the calluses on the heel; that it adds character, but to no avail. I suppose I am curious as to how illustriously a Blog Facebook page contributes to the traffic of a blog?

Stumbleupon

  • Does Stumbleupon draw a crowd?

This is not a new tactic for me. I have posted my blogs on Stumbleupon to help speed the traffic of my blog. Last year, it worked well. In every circumstance, I was gaining fifteen to twenty more views from Stumbleupon. I think they are on to my self-promotion though. Since 2013, I have probably had anywhere from fifteen to twenty views from Stumbleupon altogether. I know these Stumbleupon views do not bestow a consistent fan base, but they look oh-so-pretty on the bar chart. Just ask the ladies, or men. Do they want a 10-15 view length bar? Or do they way a 100-200 view length bar? Cosmetics are important in the world of blogging. I am curious as to what other people’s strategy is for approaching Stumbleupon. Have you found it worth your while or has it wiled away your worth?

  • Should I change my blog name?

The name Titillating Thoughts has done me well during my blogging lifespan, but perhaps it’s time to give it a stronger pulse. I want my blogs pulse to relate to, “I’m overweight and I just ran twenty minutes, I may die right now.” That’s a powerful, erratic pulse. The methods in which to achieve this would be to come up an easily searchable, catchy name that relates to my posts. My honest thoughts on this are:

  1. Hilarity Ensues OR The Ensuing Hilarity OR Am I Funny Yet?
  2. The Funny Pseudologist OR A Silly Pseudologist OR The Honest Pseudologist
  3. The Face of Facetious OR The Face in FacetiousModel

Those are some of my top contenders at this point in time. I am unsure if it is possible to keep this blog, but change the name, but if so, those are some possibilities. What say you?

  • Is buying a domain name worth it?

Is it…Is it really?

Mind-A-Whirl

My mind is all awhirl. I have experienced emotional moments of ascension and submersion. I am going to attempt to bring the vivacious and disconsolate occasions to life in this entry. I am aiming to create a textual dramedy. Let’s see if I am a sharp shooter.

I have not felt the need to record new content on my blog.  It is not because I am busy, although that may have contributed to the cause, but it was just a lack of aspiration too. I have even considered relinquishing my role as curator of this blog and allowing it to create its crease into the blemishes of WordPress. Alas, I have decided to stay for now. I considered retirement, but have made my return. I’m like Favre; minus the greatness. Well, and also the penis pictures. I do have wenis pictures though. I always get complimented on the ferocity of my wenis..Come to think of it, those are the only compliments I get. Hm.

While I have given thought to withdrawing from my blog, I have not only been contemplating but enacting my entrance into a new profession. I am currently teaching at my high school alma mater as a “teacher candidate” (AKA student teacher). It is interesting being on the other side. Some of the teachers I had are still around and now that I am among them it is a surreal feeling. Maybe even a sirreal feeling. Sir, you are real…Sometimes people forget that teachers have lives. It’s interesting. Very interesting.

The one thing I am nervous about is censoring myself. I feel that my profession may hinder my comedic ability. I may have to abridge my comedy so that if my blog does trickle down the leg of local community, that it will be a sterile sample. Hopefully that does not cum to fruition because that would be awfully anti-climaxic. i b hopin dat bloggin aint dey flava.

I’ve noticed that censorship has delved into different aspects of my life. It not only affects my career, but I have noticed it affecting relationships I have with people. I may want to inform someone to not go through with something, but I can’t. I may conceal words or not be able to express all the thoughts that percolate from my cranium because it may be deemed inappropriate to my role. I withhold my jaded antics that are emotionally embedded and try to see through to logic and clarity. Who am I to oppose someone’s happiness? Jealousy is not a good look for me…Although I have been told that my method of logic and emotional separation is not kosher and up for debation, I am adhering to my method.

You may be wondering where the dramEDY went in this script. Hold your clydesdales and do not have a bull. Instead have a cow, because this entry is finished.

Last Flicker

There are those who say “I’ll see you later” and not “goodbye.” That option is not felicitously available to all. Sometimes a goodbye is all there is; there is no impasse.

I know. I had to say goodbye to someone whom I wish I did not.

Like a candle, I could tell the wick of this tale was flickering to extinction. I tried to isolate it from external conditions, but it was this tale’s denouement. A tale steered by a series of choices. These choices permeated through the seams of a relationship until an impassible blockade was erected and the entirety of the situation dwindled to a singular stipulation. Are we to continue or not?

The answer was no.

I cannot logically attest the response, but the crux of my being can. Will it though? Silently perhaps, but verbally and assiduously, no.

I am lugubrious. Yet, it all may have been for the best. Unfortunately, not all the best things in life are free. This came at a cost.

Instead of focusing on what was lost, I wish to take this opportunity to reflect, cherish, and thank my friend for that which unfolded. I thank my friend for the conversations and the mental prosperity that was shed. I thank my friend for the memorable occasions that were shared. And I thank my friend for understanding me. Maybe one day the barrier will crumble and our friendship will flourish again.

If this person reads this, know that I will miss you.

Forever golden, and never chrome.

The Right Way?

Yesterday was my day off from work, but it was not my day off from thinking. Unlike milk, too much thinking does not do a body good.

A major change is upon me and I am experiencing second thoughts. I am doing what I feel is economically and educationally the right decision, but it is not justified in every category. There are important aspects of my life that may dissolve. I do not know if I am ready for the consequences of my actions.  This is a life-altering choice and I need it to be the right one. I hope it is the right one.

I already feel as if I have lost something, and the change has not quite come to fruition. I do not know if I will ever be able to regain what it is that I lost. It is just…tough.

This change has caused me angst and pain. I feel that it is the best decision for me, but is it?

This is one question I have no answer for.

Now You Do Not Know the Rest of the Story

Reflective and Observational post. Consider yourself warned.

A chapter has ended today. It was a small chapter, but a wondrous one. It did not end on a negative, nor positive note, but it ended all the same. One may consider it a miniscule cliff hanger. Unfortunately, this particular novel will not be completely written for another fifty to sixty years. After the last exclamation point (And yes, I am ending it on an exclamation point) has been entrenched into the pages, the book will be archived. Nobody will have the opportunity to read it in its entirety. All that will remain will be an abstract that briefly summarizes the story. Will this short chapter find its place into the summary? It is a recondite matter. Only time will tell.

I have mentioned very little about what the chapter consisted of, and to ease your frustration I do not believe that I will. It is simplistic in nature, yet convoluted in thought. That is why it will remain in my mind and not yours.

As Paul Harvey would not say: Now you do not know the rest of the story.