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Cartoongate

A tribute I did to those Nickelodeon shows we grew up with…

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Trying Desperately

I’m just going to let this little diddy do the work for me on this one.

My Homemade Videos

Have you ever thought: “Wow, I just can’t get enough of these titillating thoughts. I wish there was a way in which I could have all of the greatest recorded material in one place!”

Look no further. You postulated, predicted, inferred, and guessed it.  Here is the greatest collection of videos from Titillating Thoughts that has EVER been assembled. It has screechy vocal chords, skits, celebrity impersonations, AND MORE. This collection has it all. And if that wasn’t enough, if you order now you will get all the videos PLUS a pair of nail clippers WITH FREE nail filer, yes I said FREE!  Just call the number below to order this:

1-800-Ifyouareinterestedinsendingmemoneycomment (We’ll be in touch.)

[Shipping & handling fees will be $19.89. It is non-refundable. Asian woman sold separately.]

Note: Videos are in chronological order.

“CartoonGate” – (2013): A diddy I made about Nickelodeon cartoons from the 1990s. If you like oldschool Nickelodeon, you’ll like my rap. It is to the beat of Rugrats.

“Trying Desperately” – (2013): A little rap I made after a long hiatus. I like the beat.

“Leaving On a Jet Plane” – (2012): This is just a casual performance. I am trying to sing while playing a little diddy on my guitar.

“The Girl” – (2012): A semi-decent acapella cover of City and Colour.

“Kiss to Build a Dream On” – (2012): A karaoke version of a Louis Armstrong classic. It is done by and in the style of Louis Armstrong and Kermit the Frog.

“Believe” – (2011): A karaoke Brooks and Dunn rendition done by yours truly. If you like country music, here you go.

“The Break Through” – (2010): My hip-hop single. Aight?

“Guy Love” – (2010): Let’s face the facts. Scrubs is the best show ever. A tribute to it. Allow the hilarity to ensue.

“The Do-Do’s” – (2008): An underrated video. From an outsiders prospective it is a stupid simple concept and took too long to make. From my perspective it is flippin’-amazing. Fun stuff. Also, has a little bonus song in the last portion of the video.

“I’m Yours” – (2008): A cover of Jason Mraz’s song. One of our first…And last band videos.

“Anti-Drug Commercial” – (2008): Great concept.

There you have it!

Feel free to post your thoughts and vote on your favorite of the bunch.

The Big 5-0

This post is the big 5-0. In the human cycle, it would be subjected the caducity of life. Even if fifty is the new forty, this blog would be predicated as over the hill. Fortunately, this is a blog. Its hilly elevated excursion is only in its infancy. The first fifty can equate to my inaugural speech. Fifty posts may be a smidgen too long for an inaugural speech, but I am taking a page out of President William Henry Harrison’s book. Well, minus the death only a month later. And as the grandson of William Henry Harrison and the twenty-third president of the United States, Benjamin Harrison said, “Great blogs never go out, they go on.” And yes, he said blogs. He was an avant-garde. But enough about old dead white guys.

Before I continue, let’s commence our flashback portion of this post. Yes, it seems every monumental post number requires a flashback. You know, so my new followers can witness my sagacity and my veterans can reminisce in it. Here are four of my favorite posts that received no affection:

Backspaced – An interesting idea about the backspace button.

Taintalizing – Three thoughts. Titillating as always.

In With the Old; Out With the New – Breasts, Ice Cream, and Cheetahs. It’s got it all.

I Hear the Train A’Coming – The double B’s…Bathroom and Bowling.

Now then, I was going to create a video blog to commemorate this day and show my appreciation to those who have supported this blog, but I’m not. I believe that written word holds more power than that which is verbally mentioned. And I am not in a position to create a meaningful video. So here is my thank you speech.

This is going to be difficult. It is hard to thank everyone when I am loved by so many (Hey now, don’t burst my bubble).

The most important honors go to someone special who, without her encouragement, my blog would still be sorted among status updates and 140 character stories. That person is Rachelle. Thanks for supplying me with ideas and assisting me along my path back towards creative writing.

I would also like to thank those who have been avid readers of my blog and contributed towards it in the fashion of comments and likes. If I had a quarter for every comment you have left me I would be able to retire…In like, never. You see, $37.50 worth of comments over a six month span is pitiful. That’s alright, you guys are still a-okay in my book. I say that, but I am now observing you lot of commenter’s and expect improvements. The material I produce is gold fools. Wait, no, it is fool’s gold.  Forget it, let me just begin the thanking.

Thanks to:

Brother Jon  – A Mormon with a great sense of humor. Not that Mormon’s aren’t usually funny; I just needed an opening line. He has been a consistent supporter of my blog for the longest. His blog is equally entertaining and varies on subject matter.

RandomDeviations – She has been MIA for the past month and a half, but I will still give her a shout-out. Maybe she will return to the blogging scene, who knows.

Mooselicker – An awkward cat with outside ideas. I like it. He is not afraid to get smacked upside of the head in a game of playground foursquare because it lets him think outside the box. A solid contributor and reader of my blog.

xoEvelynOrtizHasSpoken – She is my number one commenter to this point. Thanks for reading and seeing the genius I see in me as well. Ha.

NyParrot – A relatively new follower, she is quickly moving up my commenter ranks and has interesting takes of her own.

Those listed above are my top commenter’s. If you do not see yourself on the list, know that you are not, but I hope for you to be soon and I still thank you for taking ten minutes of your time to better yourself by reading my material.

Uh-oh, there goes the music. I think it is time for me to wrap this up.

And what better way to wrap something up, than with a rap. Here is my attempt at rapping with my original content. Now you’ll know why I just write.

Eargasm Orgy

We all love music. Well, at least that is my belief. Even the deaf love some good, good, good, good vibrations. I have never met anyone who has despised all musical intonation. There could very well be one person or a congregation of people who hate music. Maybe it is some religious act. In which case their church sermons would blow; and I am not talking about a whistling fashion because that would not be allowed. We all know singing is the best part of church. But I digress…

People are infatuated with the idea of sharing music too. When you learn of a new artist or band that has you raping the repeat button like you are Ted Bundy, you want to bestow upon the world this eargasm. It is not enough to notify your friends about a new sound, no we take our music to the streets. Cars offer perfect opportunities to impose one’s musical buds of taste upon strangers. I know I am guilty of this. I take advantage of the traffic jam to introduce a jam to an unsuspecting crowd. I’ll roll down my window and turn up the decibels; and do as Soul T says: I let the beat drop. I realize this is an inefficient way of spreading music. The only time I am interested in what someone else is listening to in their car is when it is a song that I know. I am never like, “Oh wow, what song is that car listening to? It is fantastical!” In most cases I just turn my music up louder.

Nevertheless there are those, who use their car to diffuse their style of music. Some people do not only want you to hear their music, they want you to feel it. This is mostly hip-hop oriented. While I am a huge fan of hip-hop, I do not understand why people like to blast the bass to such extremes. I cannot even hear the actual music and if I wanted to feel that vibration through my body I would just go to Brookstone and sit in one of their massage chairs. Then again they are always broken. Still, I do not understand why it needs to be so loud. If someone is going to have their music that loud, I would like to be able to understand what it is.

So better then blasting my own music really loud or others bass tone deafening America, I want to instill my music in another fashion. FM Transmitters. For those of us who do not have an AUX cord to hook our iPod directly to our speakers, we use FM Transmitters. All I need is an amped up FM Transmitter tuned to a popular radio station and anyone within my radius will be forced to listen to what I play on my iPod. I have tried it with the transmitter I have now and I know that it can be done. I just need to do it. It could actually be really good for advertising too. Another money maker. Not only will everyone know how awesome Broken Bells are, but I will get paid in the process.

Two side notes

1.        Everyone says that they listen to a bit of everything. Or that they have a bit of everything on their iPod. This is a lie. Everything is a lot…I mean, think about it. It’s everything. There is no way you have everything on your iPod. Or that you listen to everything. You sir or madam are a liar. I have recently been introduced to more Indie Rock. Broken Bells, The Black Keys, M83, Vampire Weekend, XX, Massive Attack, Sleigh Bells, White Lies, etc…I listen to a lot of different stuff, but seeing as I did not listen to any of this. I had not listened to everything. Plus, that is just a horrible answer when someone asks what type of music you like. So come up with something creative. When someone asks what music you like, tell them you are strictly into polka.

2.       Valentine’s Day is among us. The day of love. Some of you may be starting up new relations, others may be ending them. This advice is good for all. When choosing your song as a couple, choose a song that you hate. This way when things go awry in your relationship, you have not ruined a good song.  While this is not in the Valentine spirit, you may be thinking, hm, this is a good idea. I concur. It is. I am full of them. Always thinking. =)

In case I do not post again before the fourteenth. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Keep it artificial. Peace.