Blog Archives

What Say You?

I created this blog to become famous.

I have been blogging for a year and a half.

I’m not famous…Yet.Not Famous

I’m like Zach Stone. Well, not entirely. I’m not famous, but I’m not canceled. Meaning I have not eighty-sixed my aspiration. I have instead taken to WordPress to ask for some advice.

Facebook

  • Should I create a Facebook page for my blog?

I have analyzed the layout of several different blogs. Some have chosen to adopt the sociality offered by a Blog Facebook page. Others have crossed the desert plain and pick up their viewers mano a mano. I’ve done a mixture of both. I post my blogs on my personal Facebook and I frequent other blogs to spread the Good Will-you come and check out my blog. That way, it is the, “I scratch your back, you give me a foot massage,” ordeal. So far I have come across very few foot massagers. I tell them to not mind the calluses on the heel; that it adds character, but to no avail. I suppose I am curious as to how illustriously a Blog Facebook page contributes to the traffic of a blog?

Stumbleupon

  • Does Stumbleupon draw a crowd?

This is not a new tactic for me. I have posted my blogs on Stumbleupon to help speed the traffic of my blog. Last year, it worked well. In every circumstance, I was gaining fifteen to twenty more views from Stumbleupon. I think they are on to my self-promotion though. Since 2013, I have probably had anywhere from fifteen to twenty views from Stumbleupon altogether. I know these Stumbleupon views do not bestow a consistent fan base, but they look oh-so-pretty on the bar chart. Just ask the ladies, or men. Do they want a 10-15 view length bar? Or do they way a 100-200 view length bar? Cosmetics are important in the world of blogging. I am curious as to what other people’s strategy is for approaching Stumbleupon. Have you found it worth your while or has it wiled away your worth?

  • Should I change my blog name?

The name Titillating Thoughts has done me well during my blogging lifespan, but perhaps it’s time to give it a stronger pulse. I want my blogs pulse to relate to, “I’m overweight and I just ran twenty minutes, I may die right now.” That’s a powerful, erratic pulse. The methods in which to achieve this would be to come up an easily searchable, catchy name that relates to my posts. My honest thoughts on this are:

  1. Hilarity Ensues OR The Ensuing Hilarity OR Am I Funny Yet?
  2. The Funny Pseudologist OR A Silly Pseudologist OR The Honest Pseudologist
  3. The Face of Facetious OR The Face in FacetiousModel

Those are some of my top contenders at this point in time. I am unsure if it is possible to keep this blog, but change the name, but if so, those are some possibilities. What say you?

  • Is buying a domain name worth it?

Is it…Is it really?

King of the Forest

I have been using old Facebook status updates and transforming them into blogs. So far, two of my previous blogs have been subjected to this change. From now on, if a blog is going through these transformations I will make note of it at the end of my blog and provide the original status update that inspired the blog. Since I previously did not do so in my first two, I will state those now.

  1. And Their Off! – A spider keeps forming a web across the entrance to the door. I hate spiders, but I like this one because everytime I walk out the door I can feel myself break through the web and it makes me feel like a “casual walking marathon winner”.
  2. Lies… – People always said, “White lies are ok.” I think that is why there are so many black people in prison; apparently their lies are not.

At the end I will state the original status behind this blog too.

Now, to the blog.

The Wizard of Oz is a classic film. We have a normal girl, a scarecrow without a brain, a tin man without a heart, and a lion without courage. They wander through a world of technicolor bricks and crystal meth castles. There are small wizards, waterless witches, and Planet of the Ape monkeys who are not only in the wrong movie, but have wings. Was there some hidden Accipitridae-Ceboidea affection during the Planet of the Apes saga that I missed, or is this a prelude? Regardless, the movie is an epic adventure of mystical proportions.

There are, however, misconceptions about this film. I am not talking about the midget hanging from the tree at the end of the tin man’s sequence or scenes of Dorothy not rocking the ruby reds. Those are well documented hindrances to the magnificence of this film. The one I will be discussing today is the lion’s role in the film. I believe it to be a hoax. The lion has always been my least favorite of the three, but that is not why I am singling him out. I can accept that the scarecrow is brainless and the tin man without a heart, but I will not capitulate to the fact that the lion lacks courage. That part seems humuhumunukunukuapuaay to me…Or should I say, a bit fishy.

I have partaken in the liberty to assert my own opinions on this topic and have come to a particular conclusion. The lion is manipulating the audience and characters into postulating that he is in fact without courage. He is a conniving feline, but I am onto him. He is just trying to extend his monarchic system through sympathy. He is already King of the Jungle, now he wants the forest? Come on Lion…Take the bow out of your hair and go back to the jungle.

For the record this is solely my opinion.  You may fall into the traps of the lions ploy, but not I.

That is another saying of interest, “for the record.” A friend of mine brought to my attention this so-called record that we have documented a plethora of items on. Now I too am curious; where is this record? It has to be ginormous. Hopefully it is all digitalized now, if not, that has to account for a significant portion of deforestation in Zimbabwe. I blame the lion. So for the record and I would like to go on record and record my spiel on records and record it via my blog. Technically this is my friends spiel, but I am stealing the idea. I am crediting her to lessen my theft charges. But what if I didn’t give her credit at all? I could deny that I had stolen the idea. I could claim it as my own…Hmm…Stop! Robo-Hamster time.

Original Facebook status update:

  1. The lion in the Wizard of Oz wanted to be King of the Forest. We are supposed to have sympathy for his lack of courage, but in reality he was trying to extend his monarchic system to the forest. He is already King of the Jungle. Selfish bastard.

(Additional Information not pertaining to the blog topic: This has been a good, but busy week. I met some new friends and met up with others. The best day by far was Tuesday night. The Tues pulls through again. The Tues and the rest of the week are the events that have prolonged my blogging this past week. So there you have it. I just wanted to add this update because it would not fit in any other post.)

Resurrecting a Wave of Ideas

I started writing blogs on Myspace back in 2006. It was an efficient platform for my purposes. I wanted to mutter ideas and only be heard by those contiguous to me. Myspace even had a section for blogs; it worked perfect.

Then Facebook materialized.

Unlike many, I was hesitant to board another social networking ship. I felt comfortable shooting the shit on the poop deck of Myspace. I turned an eye-patch to the sinking of my vessel, but could not shut my eye to the Facebook voyage. One by one I saw life boats drop and people row to the safety that Facebook could provide. I recognized my ideas were falling on deaf ears. No really, I would drop a manuscript of ideas on a deaf person’s head while they slept. It was becoming obviously evident that I needed to abandon ship. And so I did.

Facebook lifted my life boat from the choppy waves of the social networking world and gave me a simplistic, but comforting lifestyle. I was given the basics, which is all one truly needs. That is, unless you blog. Joining Facebook became one of the prevalent hindrances in my blogging succession. I wasted ingenious thought on one status update for a meager chuckle.

No longer will that be. I am going to attempt to clear that despicable damnation from my record. I have a list of antiquated status updates that I am going to flip into blogs. Not knowing the full length of my thought during these intervals of time in which I created said status update, I will still try to piece together my initial intuition on the subject matter and strike gold in its wake. In other words, I will take my one-two sentence status update and turn it into a 300+ word blog. I have a list of twenty-five that I will be using. I might use all twenty-five, I may not. What is important is that I have ideas and they will be here shortly. This is just the introduction. So I hope you are looking forward to my past. It’s on the horizon.

Women Are More Successful at Social Networking

I have tried to participate in a multitude of social networks. I have a Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Myspace, and WordPress. The one constant variable that is expressed through each is that women are powerful networkers. I almost want to arrange an experiment in which I find one individual of each sex and have them create a social network account simultaneously. I would like to track the progression of both accounts for duration of one month. I can almost say with complete certainty that the woman would have far more followers and interaction on her account than would said man. That points me to believe that women are better at networking.

Of course, there is another side to that. Men will follow anything that they find sexually appealing to the eye. Yes, even if the image is cropped in a fashion where ONLY your face is visible. Hell, perhaps only if her eyes were. As a guy, I know this has truth. It may not be true for all or most, but there is a large portion of men that would follow a woman simply because of her profile picture. Unfortunately, it does not seem as if the reverse is true. Women do not appear to follow men based on physical appearance. For women to follow others, the content has to be worthwhile. Or maybe that is just my experience…I suppose my experience does not withstand well though due to my lack of a great physical appearance.

Maybe I should rephrase this and say that attractive people have more followers. On a social network, where content is the majority of what people read or watch, those damned symmetrical-faced people still hold the power. Nah, I will stick with my original flawed theory and call it a day. Day.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

The real title:

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

There is a certain nagging behind this blog. It is in high demand by low people. Or is it in low demand by high people? I vote for both. In any case I have been urged to continue documenting the grandiose spectacle that is my percipience. Often, in my self-doubting state of mind, I have come to the realization that my ideas may be enervated. There are even those who cannot be pleased with the plethora of wonders that I have already contributed to this earthly domain and so I have taken upon myself to satisfy ones urge, at least in one aspect of life, at this very moment. I am here to prove that I am still capable. So sit down, enjoy an icy beverage on a cold day and let me titillate your brain from its prefrontal cortex down to its medulla oblongata.

I’ve have grown erect and cum through. I suppose a better way of phrasing that would be: I have risen to the occasion and completed my undergraduate work at Sacramento State University. It has been four and a half years since I began this junket, and a junket it has been. This does not pertain to what I will be discussing in this blog, but I wanted, nay, needed to bring it up so that all those who gaze upon my extravagance will know. I have my bachelors in History…Yay. Or to add comedic humor and emphasis to the subject matter at hand…Fuck Yay.

ONWARD Watson!

Watson is what I named my laptop. I name everything. After I am done using Watson I place him on a stand. I call it Stan the stand. Original; I know. After which, Watson, with his inner heated combustion, makes Stan hot. It is not what you think though. The relationship is purely platonic and symbiotic; I can’t say the same about Felipe the phone charger and Alberta the outlet. Talk about some intense double pronged action…

Now; really…ONWARD!

On my way to work today I started to think about cars. Let me first inform you that my knowledge of cars is unwaveringly inferior to many. And by many, I mean most. So allow me to shine some light on the matter that matters. Windows. All cars have windows. Well, all street legal cars have windows. On several cars the side windows have a main front piece and a small wing or panel. I understand at one point back when dinosaurs lived in shoes…Wait, that is a current situation, but is another story all to itself…Let’s say somewhere before shoe dinosaurs and somewhere after the creation of the Model-T (Model-K sounds better, but I guess I could see why not. Put three of those on the road and one could pave the road black. o-u-c-h-i-e…Poor joke. I know.) these side window wings provided an air vent of some sort.  But in examining my own 1997 car I have tried to establish its purpose. There is only one possible explanation for such maddening techniques. Burglary. When someone breaks into a car, and they do not possess the quick pick lock skill set, they bust windows. Instead of busting the entire window, they just smash that wing piece and have easy access to the car’s interior accessories. So my theory on it is that people are essentially saying, “Be kind burglar, break my small window.” Being that America is a capitalistic beast, those side windows are being removed and people are going to have to replace entire windows. Can someone say money, money, money, money…money! (NOTE: If the smaller window is more expensive capitalism will have prevailed early on. Also, my theory will be mute.) Now personally, if I am going to be taking out windows, I am going big. The purpose of a window initially is to shield. I’m taking out the biggest shielder of wind they have. Front windshield. Or maybe I would put little chips all throughout their windows and leave a Woody the Woodpecker toy. Then the next morning when they walk out to their car it will be like, “THIS IS MADDN…Oh a Woody the Woodpecker…ESS!” Hilarity ensues.

Okay; so you know how I was going on about titillating your brain teats? Forget it. I have taken an idea that I did not even deem Facebook worthy, scratch that, Twitter worthy and expanded it into a blog. The result: A sensational attempt at a mediocre idea. Perhaps I need to commit myself to saving my ideas for a more ostentatious display. Perhaps I need to not write after completing my last final and give my mind the proper recoup period. Perhaps I do need a muse. Perhaps, possibly, maybe…I hear these terms a lot. They are shades of gray. I suppose if that is ones favorite color, then that is a comfortable place to be. As with my writing. I’ll robot hamster it out.

Now and forever more; I do what I do when I do what I do.

Kenny