The Rules of Disneyland: Rule #1
Disneyland…The happiest place on Earth.
Do I concur with the aforementioned statement? Partially.
My experiences at Disneyland have not been documented to the extent of other interests I have divulged. Yet, do not let that contort your mind into believing that Disneyland is not a legit place to go. While you faithful savants may have your own impression of Disneyland, let me express to you mine. This will be a SPECIAL three part blog. Each blog will contain a rule on Disneyland. If you do not like Disneyland, you may not care for this SPECIAL. Also, I am unsure why I capitalized SPECIAL, but I can’t stop now. I’m no quitter.
Now then, I have broken the Disneyland down to three distinct rules.
There are three rules of Disneyland.
- All Six Universal Emotions need to be used. You will come happy; leave angry.
If I had photographer skills other than the capabilities that my iPhone 3GS bestows upon me, I would sit (maybe stand; depending on my mood) outside of Disneyland and take pictures. This would make for a great coffee table book…”The Happiest Faces on Earth.” I would love to capture people on their way in to Disneyland and their way out. When going in, you are fresh and spritely. People are doing little skips down Main Street, not a worry in the world (Well, except for locking up a Fast Pass to Pirates of Caribbean). Now, when people head back down Main Street to leave the park, one might think they stepped on the set of The Walking Dead. If you do not look like a cranky zombie; you are not doing something right (Or you went back and took a mid-day nap. You sly son-of-a-bitch you!). You ever why the characters do not come out at night? It’s because Mickey Mouse doesn’t want to be punched in the face after the realization has set in on some cranky forty-seven year old mother that she just spent $24 dollars on two pretzels. Rule number one implies that every visitor of Disneyland should experience the six universal emotions.
Happiness – “Yay, I’m in Disneyland, this is the start of a wonderful day. Ooh! Look! There’s Pluto! Photo-op!”
Sadness – “Thunder Mountain Railroad is closed down? Wha…I never get to ride this one. *tear* I mean, come on! It’s not like someone died on it.” OR “Where is Jessica Rabbit at? I never seem to find her…*sighs*”
Fear – (Thunder Mountain Railroad opens up. You decide to ride it.) “Holy shit! I think I’m gonna die!”
Disgust – “There is STILL no Aladdin ride? Pitiful.”
Anger – “I HATE STROLLERS!” OR “How the hell do I get out of here?!”
End note: Why don’t they have rides for some of their classic 90s films? Aladdin, Mulan, Hercules, Beauty and the Beast, and flippin’ Lion King.
Aladdin practically writes its own ride.
It’d be eye opening. I’m envisioning it taking you wonder by wonder. It would go a variety of directions. Over, sideway, and under. Like…oh, like a magic carpet ride. All, I’m saying is it would be a whole new world.
No, really. Disney should take out that stage they never use in Fantasy Land (Yes, I know my park. What what.) And they should build a giant Cave of Wonders. The ride would be a mini rollercoaster-esque magic carpet ride. I am imagining a mixture between Peter Pan and Indiana Jones. That would be amazing. If you read this Disney, get on it.