Paper or Plastic?

Barbie is not the only one to live a life of plastic. Currently I carry no currency. It is much more manageable and applicable for me to use my debit or credit card. It has gotten to the point that I often question why my wallet has an opening at the top. Is that so I can store old receipts I’ll never need and coupons I’ll never use? I think so.

I know many people who live this same lifestyle. It is a life without physical monetary funds. Well, some of them do not have any monetary funds, and that is a whole different lifestyle. For the purpose of this blog we will not be discussing people who Hobo Baggins-it, but those who Captain PiCARD it up. It is gradually becoming an acceptable lifestyle, but there are still situations where only a Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant, or Benjamin can bail me out. If I ever call on you pay my collateral please bring a Cleveland, McKinley, Madison, or Chase; I’ll keep the change.

One of the worst places to be without money is at a bar. Yes, many of them accept cards, but there is still a collection of dive bars that deal in money only ventures. This I know through first-hand (left hand too) experience. I was at a little dive bar and I had just ordered some drinks. One by one they were placed in front of me. When all was accounted for, I scooped them up and walked away. As I did, I heard a sharp tone ring from the lips of the bartender, “Hey, you still need to pay!” I turned around, my eyes flashing on the CASH ONLY sign. Damn. I did the only thing I could to get out of this conundrum. I chuckled lightly and said, “All I have are fives…And they are all high.”

Another incident occurred when I was crossing the Bay Bridge. I was new to traveling the area and I was unaware of the toll troll. As I came upon the bridge I began to see signs for CASH or FASTRAK. Where were the signs for neither? Now the logical thing would be to turn around and go get money, but a bridge only has one exit, and I would not need money there. I pulled up to the window that read CASH on its electronic screen. I was hoping that the “/CREDIT”-part had burnt out.. I handed the man two dollars and thirty-seven cents in change. I thought I would receive The Rock-brow raise, but I was just waived on through (Yeah, wordplay). Either the employees at the toll booth care little about their job, or are horrible with math. All I know is it saved me a thirty dollar fine, which I would have paid for with my credit card.

So yes, monetary forms of all types are needed, but you know what, I’ll keep to my cards. It makes for an experience.

Original Facebook Status Update:

I was getting drinks and the bartender said I still needed to pay. I said all I had was fives and they were all high.  

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About Titillating Thoughts

I am called Kenny. I respond to it. I am twenty-three years of age. This blog will represent my unique way of looking at life. It is to be a collection of thoughts that titillate your brain flaps. I am not always politically correct, but it all comes from a comedic nature. I hope you enjoy my dry and sarcastic humor.

Posted on May 28, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Having recently joined other Facebook stalkers, albeit for 30 minutes, I have to say your status update made me chuckle. It beats, “Having a skinny mocha latte, hold the coffee, give me latte and a forkfull of carrot cake at Starbucks. I’m so breaking my diet!” Cash. I wish I had some to carry with me. Alas, on good days, I’m lucky if there are two euros in my pocket. Would that have covered the toll troll, do you think? 🙂

  2. I never carry cash and for that reason alone I hope that I never have to bribe anyone.

  3. I am not sure I remember what cash even looks like. Being stuck without cash is adventurous. After having several friends drink to much and lose their cards at the bar I make sure to carry cash when I go to those places now otherwise I would say good riddance. Carrying cash to the bar also keeps me from buying too many drinks and spending WAY too much! 🙂 Loved the post!

  4. “I was getting drinks and the bartender said I still needed to pay. I said all I had was fives and they were all high.”

    Lmao, you hsd me dying over here. Great post. I try to have a balance though between cash & plastic. Having cash sometimes benefits me with deals or gas 🙂

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