If I Only Had a Heart…

I am an inclement heartless robotic being. There are no means that I will not bypass, if proven beneficial to my personal cause. I am overly sarcastic; passing the threshold of being scurrilous. I take pleasure in deteriorating a person’s tenacity enamel and undermining their self-assurance. I lack a full house of empathy, but I have apathy in spades. I am an asshole.

At least that is the consensus that many have reached. The accuracy of the perceived assumption is mostly counterfactual. I will not deny all claims. I can be all of the aforementioned things, but to say that is who I am is inaccurate. I make jokes without a smile, but do not confuse my intentions; they are jokes.

In actuality, my comedic banter should be recognized as a badge of honor. I have analyzed your demeanor and have judged you applicable to receive my comments. This is not to insinuate that my comments embrace paramount value, but in layman’s caveman’s terms it means: me think you strong.

The calamity of my judgment:

People fabricate different faces or facades. A thin sheet of frozen ice distorts their amour propre and the isotope dilution manifests an air of confidence. Once I denote a person as having the wherewithal to handle jokes, I am often unknowingly engaging in a scenario similar to Hasbro’s “Don’t Break the Ice.”

When the ice breaks, I am labeled an asshole. Unfairly so. I was merely going along with the image they presented. It is not my fault. People should not front a wall that they are unable to hold up. They can hate me for my brand of humor, but love me for pointing out the weakness in their shields. If I am an asshole, I’m a lovable one.


About Titillating Thoughts

I am called Kenny. I respond to it. I am twenty-three years of age. This blog will represent my unique way of looking at life. It is to be a collection of thoughts that titillate your brain flaps. I am not always politically correct, but it all comes from a comedic nature. I hope you enjoy my dry and sarcastic humor.

Posted on April 25, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Isn’t it interesting how different our definitions of humor can be? I’ve got a fairly dry (read as jaded) sense of humor. Many people misinterpret my jokes. Hmmm…maybe I’m an asshole too. 🙂

    • Heh. If it were via the internet I could understand. It can be hard to interpret with text, but some people take what I say too seriously. Appears you have the same problem. I suppose it is a way of weeding people out. Who wants to be friends with someone who can’t take a joke? lol

  2. Wow, this is one of the smartest things I’ve ever read. I received some good advice today. When people are criticize, it isn’t about you, it’s a reflection of themselves. Humor makes the world go around, whether or not we are able to interpret it. Keep up the good work!

  3. I’m labled an asshole to! Not everyone understands my jokes but i think i’m freakin funny! 😀

  4. Preaching to the choir man, preaching to the choir. I went my whole school days with people thinking I was an asshole before I realized it. It was then that I came to the conclusion people just didn’t realize my dry, sardonic humor was actually humor and not just me being a jerk.

    I’d say a dying breed, but I think there are probably a lot of us out there, mislabeled and reeking with the stench of sarcasm.

  5. Hey, Beastie Boys were not readily accepted either after all;). Check this video out:

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