Driving the Idea Home

There is a certain tranquil sensation to driving. It is a soothing experience. It provides me with the chance to alleviate my woes and explore my thoughts. These thoughts may correlate into ideas for blogs, or they may just delve into my psyche. Lately, I have depended on these thoughts for post ideas. As I drove the long black roads back to my house, I forced my brain to churn butter thoughts (better thoughts).

Butter…When I was younger the word butterface was an accusation thrown at females. I remember asking what butter had to do with faces. Did she have a fat face? Was she one step away from being a cookie? Could I slather her face across my toast? Was she one step past milk?  What was it that made her face butter? Then I was informed. It meant everything about her was alluring but her face (butterface). It made sense. I was able to follow their thought crumbs and come to a similar conclusion. I then wandered naively to butterfingers. Did that mean that these people will never have careers in hand modeling? I even questioned butter knives. After all, if you really look at a butter knife, they are fat and lack the cutting potential other knives have. They are unattractive knives. Then there are buttermilk pancakes. Whoa…Wait just a tick. Buttermilk pancakes are delicious. This theory is flawed!

There must have been a bump in the road and I must have struck it. I was jarred into song. For the next thirty minutes I sung. There was no music and it was not multiple songs. I drove thirty minutes singing the theme song from Married with Children. It was a song coma, but I was completely satisfied. I a cappella’d the crap out of it.

Then, a light came on and my attention pulled. It was not one of those exquisite animated moments where a lightbulb pops up overhead. This light came from the dashboard of my car and read “Low Fuel.” Gahh! I was too ingrained into my singing stupor that I forgot to get gas. To make matters worse I was entering a stretch of road that lacked any appeasement. Remember when I proclaimed that driving was a serene experience? It can quickly go from serene, serendipitous, to misfortune. I am happily driving (serene). The low fuel light turns on. I see the only gas station (serendipitous). There is road work being done on the off-ramp and it is closed (misfortune). While driving is a calming feeling; running out of gas is one of the worst. Fortunately I was able to chug another fifteen to twenty miles to a gas station. The tension that arose in me subdued and I was able to continue my brainstorming. Unfortunately, the forecast predicted no brain-rain. It was clear and dry brain-weather the rest of the way home.

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About Titillating Thoughts

I am called Kenny. I respond to it. I am twenty-three years of age. This blog will represent my unique way of looking at life. It is to be a collection of thoughts that titillate your brain flaps. I am not always politically correct, but it all comes from a comedic nature. I hope you enjoy my dry and sarcastic humor.

Posted on April 17, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Wow, and I thought I jumped from thought to thought. Glad to know other people do while driving:-) Except I’ve run out of gas–several times. Good thing you made it to the gas station.

    • Driving is the best time to think! I think Patton Oswalt has a skit about driving and all the crazy things we say when we drive alone. It is pretty funny. I mean, I like traveling with people, but I am just as complacent going solo.

      I am glad I did not run out of gas too. I was sweating it the last few miles, I was not sure when that last chug would come. lol

  2. Driving is very therapeutic for those minds that barely find time to run free. Sometimes you just get lost and forget that you should be checking gauges. At least you made it out okay.

  3. I’m in the middle of a new butter dish shopping expeditiion since mine is chipped, I can’t find the right one, of course I’ll be getting a butter knife to go with. Unattractive but practical, or maybe it’s just my technique using a normal knife to butter bread that causes it to rip to shreds. I’d never thought of the possibility I was useless at buttering bread, I always blamed the knife. Curse these hands.

  4. The Explorations of Butter Phrases – made me laugh. I love the way your brain links subjects. What about ‘butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth’?

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