The Milky Way

When I die, it will not be because I lacked calcium. In fact, it may be an overdose on calcium. What I am trying to say is that I am a milk fiend. In the past couple of years it has become an even bigger component of my diet. There was a steady year that I would drink two gallons of milk by myself within a week and a half. I bought fat free and loved it. I would pour enormous glasses and guzzle it down. I did things the milky way.

Not long after, I became fixated on chocolate milk. I had always had a weak spot for it, but it became increasingly so during this year. I was bagel biting chocolate milk. It was chocolate milk in the morning, chocolate milk in the evening, chocolate milk at supper time. When milk is with chocolate I can drink chocolate milk anytime. And I did.

I am very particular about my milk. I will not drink it if it is within a day of its expiration date. Milk has deceiving qualities. They say to smell milk to check if is still fine, but milk smells funky all the time. So I will stick with the Pasteurized Milk Ordinance (PMO) and adhere strictly to their expiration date. When it comes to milk, homey don’t play that.

I have only tried cow milk, but I would like to be a connoisseur of all milk. I want to try sheep, goat, yaks, water buffalo, horses, reindeer, and camel milk. I am most interested in camel milk. I watched an episode of Dirty Jobs that observed a camel farm. Apparently it is very sweet milk. Also, who would not want to travel the desert with your own natural beverage fountain of actual palatable milk? There would be no soda fountain mirage on that journey.

You are all probably wondering, what about human milk? I have tried that too. I’ll splurge every so often and buy myself a gallon of it. I like to make muffins with it. My favorite: Booberry muffins.


About Titillating Thoughts

I am called Kenny. I respond to it. I am twenty-three years of age. This blog will represent my unique way of looking at life. It is to be a collection of thoughts that titillate your brain flaps. I am not always politically correct, but it all comes from a comedic nature. I hope you enjoy my dry and sarcastic humor.

Posted on April 11, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Stop titillating me with thoughts of Booberry muffins! But, I don’t love milk I’m afraid. I can’t stand the smell so refuse to use it on the day it goes out of date unless someone else is there to smell it. I have a small amount in coffee, small amount occasionally when I have cereal, a hot chocolate is nice and a chocolate milkshake is, but I could never drink a glass of just milk.

  2. That seems to be the common consensus. Nobody likes just straight milk. I can understand if it is fat free because if you are not use to consuming it, then it may just taste like white water, but a glass of whole milk is quite sweet. My love for milk is unconditional, fat or not.

  3. Booberry muffins *snort* too funny! I’m with you on the milk expiration date thing. I do not play around about that date. You only have to drink bad milk ONCE to never want to have that experience ever again. Yuck.

    • Darn tootin’. It’s horrible too. I will go over to someones house and they will have a whole gallon of milk that has exceeded its expiration date. When I dump it down the drain, I cry a little, inside of course.

  4. i really love the taste of camel milk and it is nutritious too.-

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