Cookin’ Up Some Health
Candy is littered all around me. To my right is a bag full of sweet sugary jelly beans. To my left is an assortment of mini-size Snickers and Peanut M&M’s. Ahead of me is a tin can brimmed to the top with chocolate wafers. So why is it that I have chosen to try and reinstate my healthy eating and work-out regime now?
Hell if I know. It just felt right to start today. Easter is over. No more scrumptious holiday food for a couple more months. No allergies this season (so far) to prevent me from properly executing my plan. Today was the day to implement a nutritious diet and a physical fitness routine that would whip this bod into shape.
Okay, so the real reason was I needed groceries. My shelves were bare. My refrigerator was reminiscent of one from a foreclosure. Meaning only expired or unwanted food remained. It was time to go grocery shopping.
I do most of my grocery expenditures at a store called Trader Joe’s. It is a great store with a solid selection to look at. Furthermore the patrons who inhabit the vicinity also offer a solid selection to look at (if you get my drift). In case you are unaware of the store, it prides itself on offering healthier options than the common grocery franchises. Or that is what I have read on labels and reviews. In actuality, I have limited education in the field of nutrition. I actually rely on certain people to assist me in my quest for better health. The problem with this is it usually ends up in delayed responses and I end up purchasing the wrong item. I chose flax-seed oil. I should have bought grounded. Peanut butter or almond butter? I chose peanut butter. That one I am okay with. Kombucha or no kombucha? I am thinking I might try kombucha again. Pomegranate is the supposed go-to flavor.
I have found there are other stymieing issues that come with healthy living. They may not be problematic to others, but they are detrimental to my progressive healthy ways. The most significant issue is whether I am able to cook what I buy. If there is one thing I am not, it is a chef. Anything not a microwave or oven befuddles me. (On a side note, I can press buttons like no other. Give me a microwave or an oven or a microwave oven and I make magic happen. Magic that puts Cris Angel to shame. Mindfreak that.) (Also, if I were to get a tattoo, it would be on the side of my upper torso. That way I would actually have a side note.) (Back to back to back parentheses. That is some heavy stuff.) I did take a culinary class in high school, but I was the designated dish washer. At the time the job appeared to be a voluntary move, but thinking back on it, maybe I was just that bad at cooking. Hey now, I have only started a few fires in my life. That is not too bad. Right?
Hopefully I marry a woman who enjoys cooking and makes ambrosial dishes. Maybe she can teach me her ways, because I am in desperate need of it.
Now you’ll have to excuse me, I have to go prepare my lunch. Tuna sandwich with a whey protein smoothie and flax-seed OIL.
Posted on April 10, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged blog, Blogging, chef, cooking, follow, food, funny, grocery, haha, health, healthy, humor, Journal, Kombucha, living, lol, Trader Joe's. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.